Dear Tiny Snot Factory,
Who knew a person your size could create such copious supplies of snot?!? It's fascinating, really, and quite impressive. It started Thursday (thus my hiatus from letter-writing), ramped up over the weekend, and is still happening, but the quantity has reached more manageable levels. You had a low-grade fever starting Friday evening, and it spiked to 104 in the wee hours of Sunday morning, but then things simmered down and you stayed either normal or low-grade from then on. Your temp has been 99 or less for almost two full days now, with zero assistance from our good friend, Tylenol. Your pediatrician said on Friday that it was just a cold, nothing to worry about, and your lungs were "clear as a bell." We've had no reason to believe that has changed, though you do have a bit of a junky-sounding cough when you're lying down and when you first wake up... as all of us do when we've got nasty gunk running into our throats all night.
The good news: you seem to be over the worst of it and are in relatively high spirits, considering the fact that you're still coughing and sneezing here and there. Plus, so far at least, your parents haven't had any symptoms. I don't necessarily expect that to continue, since you actually sneezed into my eye Sunday morning. After many other coughs and sneezes aimed directly at my face, you finally hit your target with a well-timed volley.
The not-so-good news: this whole snot-fest has thrown a major wrench in our plans to take you for a follow-up visit to your specialist at Hopkins this week. Oh, well. It's probably for the best anyway. They got more than two feet of snow over the weekend and are forecast to have another 10-20 inches on top of that by tomorrow. According to one of my friends there, the local news channel's weather person was calling the weekend storm the "Snowtorious B.I.G.," which I find endlessly amusing. Since we were planning to drive, I suspect the trip would have been difficult at best, but we were kind of looking forward to having the time together, even though the circumstances weren't ideal. We're still waiting to hear back about rescheduling everything and have high hopes that we can take the trip well before your little brother or sister arrives. Your doc's schedule is a busy one, though, so we may end up having to wait 'til summer to make the trip with you and the new baby when all is said and done.
Anyhow, now that you've won our admiration and recognition for your snot-producing prowess, feel free to stop production whenever you're ready, ok? I can only imagine how tired you feel from all that hard work, and I know my eyeball could use a break from the action.
With tissues in hand,
Your (One) Mom
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
A donation solicitation
Dear Patience,
My child's personality has changed quite suddenly. Supposedly, around their half-birthdays, kiddos are typically quite comfy in their own skin, and their skills match their abilities and desires; this is called equilibrium. Then around their birthdays, they go into a state of chaos because they can't or aren't allowed to do all the things they wish they could; this is called disequilibrium. As of approximately four days ago, Beaker is, I believe, in a state of severe disequilibrium, and as a result, so are his parents.
He's almost two. He's screaming and throwing fits and completely ignoring our attempts to chastise him. In short, he is exceedingly happy when he gets his way, but his way often involves putting himself in dangerous situations (there's lots of climbing happening around here), so he sometimes doesn't get his way, and this makes him exceedingly unhappy.
As the current Meanest Mommy on the Planet titleholder, I'm gonna' need you to send some reinforcements. We need more of you at our house. I'm known for having you in somewhat short supply as it is, but even my Hub, who is generally The Most Patient Man on the Planet, is struggling to hold his temper on the really rough days, so it's time to stockpile however much of you can be spared in preparation for the long six months or so that lie ahead. Let me also remind you that there will be a NEWBORN in our house in less than three months, so you can trust that our need is truly urgent and we'll be using every last available morsel of whatever you choose to donate. Please don't delay in sending everything you've got. Since you may very well be the Obi-Wan Kenobi of virtues, I'll leave you with this plea: Help me, Patience. You're my only hope.
With many thanks in advance,
One Mom
My child's personality has changed quite suddenly. Supposedly, around their half-birthdays, kiddos are typically quite comfy in their own skin, and their skills match their abilities and desires; this is called equilibrium. Then around their birthdays, they go into a state of chaos because they can't or aren't allowed to do all the things they wish they could; this is called disequilibrium. As of approximately four days ago, Beaker is, I believe, in a state of severe disequilibrium, and as a result, so are his parents.
He's almost two. He's screaming and throwing fits and completely ignoring our attempts to chastise him. In short, he is exceedingly happy when he gets his way, but his way often involves putting himself in dangerous situations (there's lots of climbing happening around here), so he sometimes doesn't get his way, and this makes him exceedingly unhappy.
As the current Meanest Mommy on the Planet titleholder, I'm gonna' need you to send some reinforcements. We need more of you at our house. I'm known for having you in somewhat short supply as it is, but even my Hub, who is generally The Most Patient Man on the Planet, is struggling to hold his temper on the really rough days, so it's time to stockpile however much of you can be spared in preparation for the long six months or so that lie ahead. Let me also remind you that there will be a NEWBORN in our house in less than three months, so you can trust that our need is truly urgent and we'll be using every last available morsel of whatever you choose to donate. Please don't delay in sending everything you've got. Since you may very well be the Obi-Wan Kenobi of virtues, I'll leave you with this plea: Help me, Patience. You're my only hope.
With many thanks in advance,
One Mom
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